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Saturday, April 2, 2011

Just a random thought


I am not a morning person at all.

When I was a kid my mother use to wake us up by slapping the door to our room and  saying "Rise and Shine!  Time to get up!" in a strangely annoying high pitched voice.  It was the slapping the door repeatedly that actually caused a kind of brain pain as the sound hit your ears and traveled to your brain stem where your hippocampus shuddered momentarily.  Much like an internal earthquake, there was no way to escape it.

She then got in the habit of having my brothers (see Invaders post) wake me up.  I would gladly have my hippocampus vibrate before I would willing wake for my evil little brothers.  Mike use to wake me up by screaming in my ear or tickling or some other torturous method. My brother Jeff was famous for the Waking Willy, a disgustingly spitty wet willy given to a helpless sleeping victim.  *If you don't know what a wet willy is, you're lucky.  It is when you slobber on a selected finger and then insert said finger in an unsuspecting ear canal.  When the finger is removed the cold and damp goo remains behind causing the ear's owner to gasp and groan as they realize what has happened. 

My point is that my reputation of being a bit cranky upon waking is only partly the fault of my body clock, the rest of the blame falls squarely on the shoulders of the wakers!  Did I mention that I punched one of my brothers once as they were tortuously attempting to rouse me?  Well, I did and from that day forward they changed how they woke me up!!  I showed them.......HA! 

Whoa!  This is the real world!  They didn't begin to wake me with sweet whispers or a kind rub on my back like you might experience in a dream or see in a quality Disney movie, they used a broom handle to poke me awake so that when I swung they were out of range!













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