Bringing Home the Bacon, Literally!



Photographed by Carl Warner

 I believe it is true that bacon makes everything better.  But I am a research minded person who wanted to prove my hypothesis.

First, how does popular culture perceive bacon?  What I found was a ridiculous number of varied products that use the bacon flavor to enhance their marketability.  What kind of products are out there you ask?  Well...

Bacon flavored toothpicks might be a good place to start.  Now that is one sophisticated porker!

You will be glad that you had those toothpicks after you have tried some milk chocolate covered bacon, salty and sweet is always a perfect combo.  I love that it comes in such a pretty looking box.  If you need a little more than a toothpick or are more health conscience  but miss that smokey flavor in the morning, how about using bacon floss!?

Now if you still aren't convinced that bacon makes everything better, here is the coup de grace.  Bacon Bandages.  Yes even your owies can be comforted by bacon.

What I have found in my research, is a society that embraces bacon in many forms.  Bacon can clean your teeth and comfort your scrapes and your lover.  Did I say lover?  You bet I did! Checkout BaconLube.

After a day filled with all of this crazy activity, you may need a little something to settle your stomach and there is no perfect end to this kind of porky adventure then a visit from an effervescent bacon drink. Ahhhhhhhh

I have a couple more and then this phase of my research will be done.  You should visit this website if you are interested in bacon and it's "makes everything better" status.  http://www.jdfoods.net/ourstory.php

These guys have come up with a few crazy good ideas for bacon flavor;

#1 is Baconnaise, yes it is mayonnaise with bacon flavoring AND it is kosher and vegetarian (not vegan)!!  Damn, their good!

#2 is MMmvelopes.  What could these be?  You guessed it!!  Envelopes with bacon flavoring in the glue!!

Alright, so it is obvious that we all love bacon in one form or another.  I have even known vegetarians who miss nothing from their former meat eating lives but the taste and smell of bacon.  The next aspect of my research project was to create some sort of experiment that I could do. hmmmmmm, I will have to look in a few directions to determine where I will go with this.  Well, I like bacon and usually consume it in the arena of breakfast.  We discussed salty and sweet earlier, that might be a good place to start.  I have to create my own bacony concoction but what should it be?  I racked my brain and wandered the grocery store looking for inspiration.  Here is what I came up with.

I call them my

Piggly Wiggly Cookie Bars    Printable Recipe
(I bought the stuff at Piggly Wiggly AND there is bacon in them! Perfect)

1 roll of chocolate chip cookie dough

1 cup sugar

1/2 cup light corn syrup

1/2 cup water

1 Tablespoon vanilla

1 cup heavy cream

1 cup shredded coconut

1 cup chopped pecans

1- 2.5 oz box of precooked bacon (you can cook your own but use thick cut would be my advice)

Mini Chocolate chips (just and option)

Spray 9x7 pan with cooking spray.  Press the cookie dough into the bottom of the pan and cook as directed till done.  Let that cool.  In a sauce pan add sugar, corn syrup, and water.  Over medium heat stir til the sugar is dissolved.  Now we need to be patient and wait for the mixture to turn a dark honey color.  This can take a little while but you need to watch the pot because once it starts to change color it can go quickly.  Are you so excited!!?  I love making caramel. MMmmmmmm.  While you are waiting for the color change, measure out your heavy cream and vanilla and have them standing by.  When the sugar mixture has turned a beautiful ...well....caramel color, remove the pan from the heat and carefully pour the vanilla and cream into the pot.  Do not stop stirring until everything is incorporated into a tasty sauce.  Once this is done add in the coconut, pecan, and our good friend bacon.

Mix it well and pour it over the cooled cookie crust.  Let this sit in the fridge over night to get firm. 

This caramel topping is crazy hot, so if you want to add chocolate chips to the top, they will melt a little and be yummy.  We couldn't wait to try them so we ate ours while it was still gooey and warm.  Max rated them a 1 on a scale of 1-20, with 20 being "This is so gross that I just want to vomit".  I think that means he liked it.  The positive side for all of you watching your waist line is that they are so rich that you can really only eat a small piece.  I'm talking 1-1.5 square inches of caramely bacony goodness.

I believe that my hypothesis has been proven correct.  Bacon does indeed make everything better.  Since I have provided you with a complete description of my experiment, you can recreate it on your own and decide for yourself if my theory holds water or not.  I think you will find that it does, but if for any reason you disagree with me.......keep it to yourself!

Please always remember and don't ever forget:

"It does get old to have to always be a monkey in a zoo. I don't know what it's like any more to be anonymous."

Kevin Bacon