I have come to the conclusion that I REALLY dislike cleaning and so does everyone else in my house!
I am by no means anal retentive enough to demand that every inch of the house should pass a white glove test. I am alright with a bit of...
Dust- as I am not currently hermetically sealed in my home, dust is an inevitability.
Doggie hair- works like a detector of sorts, allowing me to easily see if I have worn those pants this week or not.
Food- if it has sufficiently dehydrated and is something that the dog will eat, I will step over it at least twice.
Piles- everyone needs their own pile of stuff that can be moved around from one place to another and from one room to another until it actually makes it to a location that allows us to forget about it all together and start another pile.
Toys- having toys out allows me to create a place to stash the toys so I don’t have to rely on Max to move them in a time effective manner to a location that has been approved for their habitation. I also find some pleasure in collecting them over a long period of time and then asking him to “take them to your room and put them away”. The look works better than a Hallmark card.
Crunch- Some may understand crunch but for those of you without children, allow me to illucidate. Crunch is something that comes with all children. It is an innate aspect of behavior, infants are able to create crunch without ever being taught. As children get older they perfect crunch creation and take that skill with them regardless of where they are, from home, to restaurant, to other people’s weddings. Crunch has been around for a long time, even Winston Churchill spoke of it, "
"Whether Spain will be allowed to find its way back to sanity and health ... depends upon the general adjustment or outcome of the European crunch."
Europe was suffering at the time and Spain had been overrun and was still very crunchy as Europe slowly recovered.
Crunch is mostly a mysterious phenomenon but an example of crunch might be:
That mysterious hard spot on the couch that you sit and pick at while watching a movie and wonder why, after four professional cleanings, it is still there and just as crunchy.
The odd spots on the wall behind the couch that appear in various colors and levels of crunchiness and, if removed, will take parts of the wall with them.
Our dog Rodger recently had a giant spot of crunch on his head behind his left ear. I know that Max had something to do with it but, other than seeing him spending a lot of time petting the dog in that area, I just can’t prove it.
Crunch can show up on rugs, countertops, walls, clothes, animals, grandparents, taxi drivers, and I am of the opinion that crunch has made it into space. Crunch can be small or large, thick or thin, hard or harder, but it will never come off any surface easily nor will it cease to exist.
Fingerprints and Dog snot- I just don’t want to have to clean windows and mirrors every day so if I want to see who is at the front door, I just use my shirt to wipe a clear spot. Is it wrong?
Reflections-
I would like you all to know that I have just read this post from the beginning and have determined that I need a housekeeper or a HazMat crew! I was able to find some comfort when it comes to housework, I think it was Erma Bombeck that said, “if it doesn’t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the fridge, let it be.”
I can see now that I am living the dream.
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