Into Every Life a Little Pee Must Fall

Let me just say up front, I do not have a penis.  Not that there aren't times that I wouldn't love to have one, long car rides, sailing, camping, and other inconvenient times to have to locate a toilet.

Don't get me wrong, I am happy with what I have and glad that I can't mess up something like going pee.  You heard me!  Yup, a male of the species can actually mess up the daily task of urinating in the designated area of your humble abode.

This morning, I woke up and went in to do my business and as I sat (that is what you do to NEVER mess up this little chore) I noticed a VERY wet sensation on my, warm and just got out of bed, feet.  "WHAT THE HECK!?"   I have come to understand and barely tolerate the "splash" factor of male urination but I do not understand how even an almost 6 year old can completely miss the toilet.  There was a puddle, yes a puddle of nasty morning pee on the floor in front of and next to the toilet.  YUCK!  Now this happened once before with our dear son and poor Paul had to clean it up because I very conveniently had to leave for work. (nice timing, huh?) We told Max after that incident that he needed to work on this and to motivate him to work hard, if it happened like this again he would be doing the cleaning.  Our sweet son just smiled and said "Mom, I won't!"

Flash forward a month or so to my defiled morning feet and "MAXWELL!"  The dance began.  Max trying everything that he knew to get out of having to clean up the "Soooo gross and stinky!" (well stated son) mess that he created.  The big guns were employed by the parental units and the threat of not going to his playground camp was instituted.  "Ifs and "thens" were flying like the swallows at Capistrano, "If we have to clean it then no camp."  "I will hold the bag if you will clean the pee pee, then I can go to camp."  Needless to say, Max finally gave in a bit reluctantly (as it should be) and wiped up the aforementioned pee pee and will be going to camp.  Now, if we can just make sure that he remembers how nasty it was to clean it up, maybe we can keep it off the floor in the first place.  I have learned a few things from this little incident but the most important is that I HATE pee pee on my feet!

Please always remember and don't ever forget:

“Well, I don't use the toilet much to pee in. I almost always pee in the yard or the garden, because I like to pee on my estate.”

Iggy Pop