10. You find lego men and rocks strategically placed in the bed as you climb in to go to sleep at night.
9. Wherever you go you find dirty socks and underwear, as if they had been shed by the wearer to elude capture by aliens.
8. Sugar is a temptation that cannot be resisted even with the threat of bodily harm, so you find candy wrappers hidden in strange places like the sofa cushions, the phone book or your underwear drawer.
7. You have to verify that the underwear you have so lovingly provided is actually being worn. My preferred method is the dreaded "wedgie" test.
6. Farts and burps are far to funny to be ignored. They need to be amplified, projected and shared with the whole house. Don't think that they will blame it on the dog either, this kind of pride needs to be felt by the rightful owner.
5. Screaming is the new normal and when added to the running wildly through the house a new level of chaos can be achieved even by an individual.
4. Everything takes forever. If you want them in bed at 8:30pm you need to start at 6pm because they are unable to focus for longer than 3 seconds. My son can be found brushing his teeth on the toilet because the two thoughts collided before either one could be carried through to completion.
3. Various items of clothing, papers, dishes, flotsam and jetsam are dropped wherever and whenever the youth is so inclined, with no intentions to retrieve said items at any time in the future.
2. Naked or other variations of "undressed" can be experienced at any time of day.
And the number one way to know that you have an 8 year old boy in your house.....
1. You find dried boogers on the touch pad of your lap top computer.
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