Facile Friday - Am I old?

At 2:48 Thursday morning my little baby boy turned 7 years old.

I am currently swimming in the sea of denial and I must say that it is really quite pleasant in here.  I am thinking that if I swim long enough, I can blame the wrinkles that appear daily, on the pruning effect that is really an inevitability of submersion in a liquid. 

Let me roll over and do a little backstroke so that I can talk to you for a minute.  OK, now I know that I am aging and generally am very good at ignoring the process of graying hair, less refined muscle tone and the resulting sagging where I have always forbid it to be.  I remember seeing something written once about how duct tape should be every aging woman’s best friend because it does a fabulous job of holding up that which sags.  Never tried this duct tape maneuver and, now that I have put in down in black and white and read it back a couple of times,…..never will!  My solution is far easier and one that many women subscribe to, I lay on my back and it all goes away.  Whatever is left can be tucked under your arm.  Ha. Ahem!  OK, I suppose it is really tacky to laugh at your own humor but it really did whack my funny bone, which by the way, has no issues with sagging of any kind.

 

What the heck was I talking about!?

Oh yea.  The issue that I appear to have developed is that Max, as he grows taller and more conscience, requires me to be more cognitively astute and agile and as you can see I have some holes in those areas at the moment.  I think all of this sagging, wrinkling and graying that I am doing is depleting my cognitive reserves.   What am I going to do when he comes home and attempts to manipulate me to get himself a new puppy? 

Oh Mylanta!  See it has already happened and…well…it must have been a really bad day for me…..I haven’t been sleeping well…..I have a lot of projects going at work…..DAMN!  I do love the puppy.  I am doing what I can but every time I have asked him to stop growing he has flatly refused!  What is a girl to do?

I know, I will just keep swimming in this lovely sea till such time as the surf tumbles me onto the beach in a heap of soggy, wrinkly, grayness or my sweet little baby turns 30.  Look at that!  I solved my own problems!  I knew those self-management workshops would help.

Live long and buy stock in duct tape

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